About The Song
Patty Loveless went to No. 1 with the second single from When Fallen Angels Fly, “Here I Am,” and repeated the feat with the album’s third single.
There isn’t nearly enough Gretchen Peters in this feature. She penned only one other No. 1 single in the nineties – George Strait’s “The Chill of an Early Fall,” – which we covered way back in 1991.
But she was one of the most important songwriters of the decade, and alongside Matraca Berg and Kim Richey, she was part of the holy trinity of female writers that paired so well with the female artists of this time. Some of the songs that didn’t make it to No. 1 but would’ve scored an “A” if they had include hits from Pam Tillis (“Let That Pony Run”), Trisha Yearwood (“On a Bus to St. Cloud”), and Martina McBride (“Independence Day” and “My Baby Loves Me.”)
The song that did make it to No. 1 is every bit the peer of those classic hits. “You Don’t Even Know Who I Am” is one of the finest divorce ballads in country music history, and Patty Loveless gives it a flawless reading. (Loveless, Tillis, and Yearwood form their own holy trinity of female artists from this decade.)
Peters knows that after the first verse, the audience is team wife, which makes the second verse from the husband’s perspective all the more devastating: “He called her to say he was sorry, but he couldn’t remember what for.” That he comes to the very same conclusion that she did – “You don’t even know who I am, so what do I care if you go?” – puts a harsh spotlight on the tragedy of a divorce, made all the more tragic through the involvement of children in the marriage.
There are no winners because there is no scoreboard. Everyone loses when a family falls apart, even if it’s the only remaining option because a life of misery together won’t be any better.
Video
Lyrics
She left the car in the driveway
She left the key in the door
She left the kids at her mama’s
And the laundry piled up on the floor
She left her ring on the pillow
Right where it wouldn’t be missed
She left a note in the kitchen
Next to the grocery list
It said, “You don’t even know who I am
You left me a long time ago
You don’t even know who I am
So what do you care if I go?”
He left the ring on the pillow
He left the clothes on the floor
And he called her to say he was sorry
But he couldn’t remember what for
So he said, “I’ve been doin’ some thinkin’
I’ve been thinkin’ that maybe you’re right
I go to work every mornin’
And I come home to you every night”
And you don’t even know who I am
You left me a long time ago
You don’t even know who I am
So what do I care if you go?
You don’t even know who I am
So what do I care if you go?