About The Song
“It’s Not Supposed to Be That Way” is a song written and performed by Willie Nelson, released in 1974 on his album Phases and Stages on Atlantic Records. The track was not released as a single but is a highlight of the concept album, which narrates the breakdown of a marriage from both perspectives. The 3:25 song expresses tender regret over a relationship’s end, with lyrics like: “It’s not supposed to be that way / You’re supposed to know that I love you.”
The song was recorded in 1973 at Atlantic Studios in New York City, produced by Arif Mardin. The session featured The Family band, with Bee Spears on bass, Paul English on drums, and Bobbie Nelson on piano, alongside session musicians including Jimmy Day on steel guitar. The arrangement is minimal, with Nelson’s acoustic guitar and gentle steel guitar creating a soft, emotional tone. The album Phases and Stages reached No. 7 on the Billboard Top Country Albums chart and sold over 500,000 copies by 1975, earning gold certification from the RIAA.
Nelson wrote the song as part of the album’s storyline, representing the male perspective after the breakup. The track reflects the album’s theme of emotional cycles, recorded during a period of creative freedom after Nelson left RCA. In a 1974 interview with Country Music magazine, Nelson said: “It’s about the pain of realizing love’s gone wrong.” The song gained exposure through its inclusion in the 1974 television special Willie Nelson Live, aired on PBS.
Covers include a 1975 version by Johnny Paycheck on Lovin’ Machine, per SecondHandSongs. A live performance from a 1974 Austin City Limits episode was released on the 2006 album Live at Austin City Limits. The song appeared in the 1980 film Honeysuckle Rose, performed by Nelson in a reflective scene. Nelson recorded a duet version with Norah Jones in 2002 for Stars & Guitars, released in 2002.
Nelson included the song in live sets, notably at the 1974 Fourth of July Picnic in Dripping Springs, Texas. It was featured at Farm Aid 1985 and included in the 2018 documentary Willie Nelson: Phases and Stages, aired on PBS.
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Lyric
It’s not supposed to be that way
You’re supposed to know that I love you
But it don’t matter anyway
If you don’t love me the way I doThe tears that you cry, they’re not tears of pain
They’re only hiding the love you won’t show
It’s not supposed to be that way
But you’re gone and I’ll have to stayThe tears that you cry, they’re not tears of pain
They’re only hiding the love you won’t show
It’s not supposed to be that way
But you’re gone and I’ll have to stay